drafs

I dreamt I flew
over my old way home
from school
knowing
it like hand games
guided by the claiming orange
of the street
the frowning porridge
of the heat
grappling with the windholes in the webway
the OK archway at the hinges of the sky
indigo fright grains and letters
blue purpose
a minty mindest
lifting through all this forbidden



Lower east / my start
there's Planet
on all
theminds
Big
plans
plumes,
blasts,
meander
lands


pigeon dove
twice as soft as normal
texture of a no longer
drainpipe flight
boots and boots of silence

past a laundromat supply
pinecone-eating+candy striped
asking please a quarter sneeze

I wear a blue feathered dress
dress like I've made no mess
all this planned organ
under breaded concrete
putting like yes


chipping chris
shiny misfit
up like soda
fluent in sky
fat column of spice
the bag lady with trailing ice

portions of phrase
drying from carving at it
all on revolutionary love + Pagan hymns +
No longer affording to live

I fly and negate all bandaids
they drag then drop from me
curl then plop


faming wands of the fairies nearby
fairies in the leaves,
in the trees
them why I fly

this spider bite has me acting not right
not right
phatasma and stigmata and tarantula
i myth, i myth, i myth, into a little, choking fit,
you get a clue and fast walk with it
i wake up in a ceramic plate
I wake up to the sound of a belly alarm
It purs outside and lets out a little glow/
catepillar growth
I'm kept here
figuring out my days
they don't have my brand of ice
or a vomit of guilt
stored under my breasted chest
the hospital makes me come to terms with
my hatred of men
when you're crusted in the corner
with women in lab suits
gracing you pills
girls start to have a dark mark

yearn soaked
locket glands
grips like a saddle
rink bits of litter
long wedding dress
with a mobster in the middle
heated hiphugger flag
a weird red
almost pink
a fantastic toddler
listening to the sink
always a little covered
in colorful dirt
a body of the woman
lifting like pulled milk
to the wheeze of the girl
cross skirt mitch bratch
fits nicely
on her
oh scurvy body
heal me mean

Doll

Glass why
Lola shares
Her eyebrows red
Lace gloves, feeling small
Molten lava heart
her heart is filled with lotion
rainbow-sized
Michael
Loop




smelling like peonies and brick
Vanessa fought it wars.
Tamryn found her mom there.
Weeping constantly.
from foul sick
from tanning bed disease
Loping slow
her shoes break. She feels her bandaid unscrew
Fascinating moment.
planning again.


This time we're in Paris.
We wake up, on a starfish skin mattress
getting mixed on pink
punch
Carter gets jealous
poisons the cups, poisons the brew
Her jealousy gets jealous.

All your meatless murder
I SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT
Makeup lies you tell
Orchids weeping
Hydrangeas weeping
Strangers lick their palms,
light the way
Lilacs weeping,
land combing it through
nothing is that clean
is ever that clean
Bryant park steaming with rats
and loneness
and rainstone fat
and brokeness

Like a reverence of leaf
i lost you
in life no one knows
the list
I wish
so much
for guttery hail
love under a cross
and my hands
a baked and barking island

Am I addicted to my shame?
yes, but it has held me like a hot violent mama








am I addicted to my self pity?
yes
it has made me feel powerful to feel powerless
this is my malady exposed
there are many layers
all ugly and terribly rotten
this is my flesh
skin peeled trying to attract a warm hand
no one to blame but myself
no one to duel with but myself
no one to hate but myself
no one to starve of love but myself.
My love affair is whirlwind,
hurting,
addicted. I cannot leave her. I cannot leave.